79 Lifesaving First Time Mom Tips

Key Takeaways

• Use your network of loved ones and friends in this fourth trimester to help you with connection, household tasks, and your healing journey. 
• It is OK to not “get” breastfeeding right away or other “Mom tasks” you thought were intuitive. It turns out, no matter how many kids you have, you have to relearn a little bit with each of their personalities. No baby is the exact same. Give yourself grace to find a groove that fits for your season. 
• You are the right Mom for your baby. Your intuition is spot on for your family.  

Our First Time Mom Tips For You

There were so many great tips that I have narrowed it down to the best first-time mom tips and organized them by sections. Hopefully it will be less overwhelming that way and you can find information that is applicable to you. There’s no need to use all of them or any of them, see what fits and what works for your circumstances. 

Self Care

• Adjusting to Motherhood is a significant transition, focus on navigating this new chapter at your own pace. Take it slow, you don’t have to have a clean home, or other household tasks done. It is OK if the “only thing” you did that day was take care of your baby. You are not unproductive. 
• Reflect on your individual needs and preferences, and be proactive about seeking support or space as needed. Whether you crave words of encouragement, a listening ear, or simply some time alone, understand what brings you comfort and prepare to ask for or schedule those moments of support and connection in, if possible. 
• Fresh air can work wonders for combatting feelings of stir-craziness. If you’re cooped up indoors, make it a point to step outside and soak in some sunshine or fresh air even if it’s cold, for a few minutes everyday.
• Rest is crucial for your recovery and overall well-being, it also plays a vital role in the healing process. Take advantage of any opportunity to rest and recharge. Rest can look like napping, laying on the couch, or doing breathwork. Rest comes in many different forms. 
• Remember to carve out time for yourself daily; whether it’s for self-care or simply a moment of solitude, prioritize activities that help you unwind and rejuvenate. Create a list for yourself of very simple things you can do (face mask, special treat, favorite podcast, etc.) even with a newborn baby. 

Newborn Baby Care

• A tip during a new diaper change in the early weeks, fold the diaper down a little to avoid rubbing the umbilical cord area and irritating it. 
• When you are shopping ahead of time for your new baby, get pajamas with zippers. That way you can avoid the 3 am hassle of snaps!
• It is normal for your baby to drop below their birth weight in the week after birth. They should gain it back in the following weeks. If they do not seem to, then speak to your healthcare provider, your pediatrician will likely be monitoring this as well, but it can be hard if you didn’t realize this before. 
• Something that may be a surprise is that you need to help burp your newborn baby after every feeding. It can really help their stomachs to settle. 
• If you find that you have burped your baby, fed them, and done everything, yet they are still crying, they could have more gas in their stomachs that is annoying to them. Talk to your healthcare provider about newborn gas drops you can try or about whether they could be colicky.  
• Babies aren’t able to regulate their temperatures as well as adults can, a little hat can help heat to not escape or even doing 2 layers of clothes in winter. 
• If you are noticing that little scratches are on your baby’s face from their wailing arms, a little trick is to put socks on their little hands. They can help if their nails are scratching their face. 
• When babies are brand new, their head and neck muscles have not developed fully. Their head is the heaviest part of their body so it can roll. If you can, always ensure you support your newborn’s head and neck to prevent injury. 
• To help them develop those head and neck muscles, practice tummy time for a few minutes a day. 
• This was a trick I found with my little boy! If you have a boy, sometimes the coldness of the air or the coldness of a wipe can trigger them to pee.  A trick is to place your new diaper under the old one so when you wipe you can always put a “lid on.” Another trick is to put a wipe over their penis while you wipe the other areas and it can help catch anything that may come out. 

This reel also mentions a few other tips for newborn care if you need them.

Health and Wellness

• Prioritize your health and well-being by focusing on food and hydration. Maintaining a healthy diet is essential for supporting your body’s healing process and breastfeeding journey (if you are choosing that route). Ensure you have a supply of nutritious food readily available and stay well-hydrated by drinking plenty of water. Now is not the time to cut calories or adopt restrictive eating plans; ensuring you’re adequately nourished is essential for both you and your baby’s health. 
• Concentrate on eating nutrient-packed foods rich in calcium, zinc, magnesium, vitamin B6, and folate to support your body’s needs during this critical period. 
• Continue taking a prenatal vitamin to help your body heal and gain back vital nutrients. 
• When it comes to exercise, take it slow and steady. For the first 6 weeks you should simply focus on healing. Then set small, manageable fitness goals that align with your current abilities. 
• Whether it’s a leisurely walk with your family or a brief workout during nap time, every bit of physical activity counts, there is no need to bust into a fitness class. That can actually be damaging in the long run for your body. 
• See a pelvic floor specialist postpartum to help ensure that your pelvic floor muscles are being strengthened, and to ensure that your diastasis recti (separation of the abs) are not being triggered by exercises. 
• This may be a surprising thing to some first-time Moms, but it was mentioned multiple times and I personally know quite a few women who were unprepared for it. The first few days postpartum you may have a first poo that you are dreading or that can be a little painful or constipated. The best thing you can do for yourself is have stool softeners on hand to take everyday for a few days or week. Your body and nether regions will thank you for it!

Connection

• Having a supportive and caring network around you is crucial during the transformative period of parenthood. Try and make a period of time where you can see people who you connect with and uplift you. 
• If you find yourself overwhelmed or experiencing feelings of depression or anxiety, it’s important to open up and speak with your doctor as well as your trusted network of friends or family. 
• Despite the demands of motherhood, you can spend quality time with others, including your partner and older children. Simply scheduling 10 min of time and giving them focused attention can help them and you feel closer together. 
• Connecting with fellow new moms can be immensely beneficial; virtual platforms like Peanut, What to Expect apps, and Facebook Mom groups offer valuable support and a sense of camaraderie. 
• Additionally, consider joining online or in-person support groups in your area tailored for new moms, providing a supportive community to navigate this journey together.

Breastfeeding or Bottle Feeding

• Breastfeeding may be natural, but it’s not always intuitive (my mind was blown when I first heard this phrase, because you think that natural will also mean that it comes naturally, but that’s just not true!). Both you and your baby are in a learning process, and it’s perfectly okay to seek help and support while you are both learning about each other.. 
• Whatever side you finish breastfeeding on, is the side you should start with the next time baby feeds. This helps make sure both breasts are getting emptied. 
• In case no one tells you, your baby will likely need to eat every 2-3 hours. And if they are going through a growth spurt, possibly every 1 ½ -2 hours. There are great free apps you can download that can help you keep track of breastfeeding/feeding schedules so you don’t have to. 
• Lactation consultants play a crucial role in supporting new moms on their breastfeeding journey. They offer guidance on various aspects, such as positioning the baby for optimal feeding or tips for understanding your body, and help using a pump if you need. 
• Remember, it’s also perfectly fine to supplement with formula if needed; being a good mom means doing what’s best for your baby’s health and well-being. Sometimes that can look like, what is best for your mental health as well, so you aren’t dreading feeding time. 
• The best slogan out there in my opinion is, fed is best. No matter what you choose to do for your baby. It will be great. Breastfeeding, supplementing with formula, only formula, simply pumping, it all works.

I Don’t Feel Instantly Bonded to My Baby, Is This Normal?

This was such a comfort to me to read from so many Moms. I thought I was alone in feeling this way and  meant I was horrible or that CPS would be called or something:

• It’s completely normal to not feel an instant rush of love for your baby right after birth, and this doesn’t make you a bad mom. 
• In those early days, your baby might seem like a strange creature, resembling you but then sleeping most of the time, spitting up, and showing minimal awareness of your presence. It’s natural to wonder why you haven’t bonded immediately. 
• However, bonding isn’t something that follows a rigid timeline; it’s a process that evolves over time as you and your baby get to know each other. 
• Smiles from baby, actually do not not occur right away, but weeks after birth after they have grown and developed more.
• Providing for their basic needs—food, warmth, and sleep—is crucial. Simply holding and rocking your baby, making eye contact, singing, reading, and engaging in skin-to-skin contact are all nurturing actions that foster the development of a strong bond over time.
• Skin-to-skin contact is very important to a baby and helps them to regulate and bond to you and your partner. 

Baby Blues vs Postpartum Depression

• During the postpartum period, it’s common to experience moments of stress and moodiness, often referred to as the “baby blues,” affecting many women due to hormonal fluctuations and sleep deprivation. However, these feelings typically subside within a couple of weeks.
• It’s important to rely on your support system during this transitional phase and remember that these feelings are temporary. 
• However, if you find yourself constantly overwhelmed with no relief, persistent depression, anxiety, disinterest, difficulty concentrating or notice a diminishing interest in your newborn, it may indicate a more serious condition such as Postpartum Depression or PPD. 
• Consulting with your healthcare provider is essential to discuss your experiences and determine the most appropriate course of treatment if it is necessary.

Check out this video for more information on how to differentiate between baby blues or PPD. 

It is Ok for Baby to Cry

• Sometimes babies cry, and despite your best efforts—changing their diaper, feeding them, and burping them—they may continue to cry. In such moments, it is OK to place them in a safe environment, like their crib, while you take a short break to gather yourself. 
• Whether you need a moment to compose yourself, use the bathroom, or simply have a few minutes of peace and quiet, it’s okay to step away briefly from your baby. 
• It’s essential to understand that taking a brief break to tend to your own needs won’t harm your baby; in fact, it’s an act of self-care that benefits both you and your child.

It’s important to note that this isn’t about employing the “cry it out” method or worrying about spoiling your newborn with too much attention. This practice is simply about prioritizing your well-being for a few moments while ensuring your baby’s safety.

Be Kind to Yourself. 

• Be gentle with yourself as you navigate the whirlwind of emotions and physical changes that accompany the early days of motherhood. 
• Allow yourself the grace
• Accept that your home may not be perfectly tidy, and tasks like laundry and dishes might accumulate—these are normal aspects of adjusting to life with a newborn, and it is OK. 
• Release the pressure to achieve perfection and shed baby weight immediately. Instead, focus on nourishing yourself with wholesome foods and fostering a strong bond with your infant. 
• The societal expectation to “bounce back” post-baby can be overwhelming, but it’s crucial to recognize the strength and resilience you have gone through (see our article on embracing your Mom Bod)
• Acknowledge the natural timeline of postpartum recovery, which mirrors the nine-month journey of pregnancy. Instead of criticizing your body, marvel at its incredible ability to conceive and deliver a new life into the world.
• The initial postpartum period may also be marked by feelings of mourning—a mourning for the life you knew before, the adjustments in your relationships, and the processing of your birth experience. Remember that it’s okay to grieve these changes.

It is a Phase, It Will Pass 

• Realizing that everything really is a phase can help the days not feel so long. 
• Whether it’s dealing with diaper blowouts or mealtime struggles, sleep, etc. these challenges will pass with time. It’s important to maintain perspective during moments of frustration or exhaustion.
•  Babies grow and change rapidly, so take a step back and remind yourself that this phase is temporary. 
• Embracing this perspective can help you cherish moments spent with your little one or just help you get through a day. 

Sleep 

There is no easy way to put it with sleep, but the first few weeks with a newborn are really going to be difficult. You sometimes just have to get through it to be over it. 

• The beginning weeks of parenthood can be incredibly challenging, especially when it comes to sleep deprivation. While newborns spend a significant portion of their day sleeping, their sleep patterns are often characterized by short, 2 to 3-hour intervals before they wake up hungry again. This fragmented sleep doesn’t allow for a full REM cycle. Just like the above tips says, it will be a phase! 
• It’s crucial not to push yourself too hard to be productive during your baby’s nap times, as this can lead to burnout. 
• Don’t do anything during naps that you can do while your baby is awake. 
• Use this time to recharge and prioritize self-care. 
• Whether it’s taking a moment for yourself or asking for assistance from friends and family, investing in your well-being is essential for navigating the challenges of disrupted sleep.
• You can try incorporating guided meditation into your routine to promote relaxation and improve sleep quality for you and your spouse. 
• As soon as baby goes down for a nap, try making yourself a sandwich or other food item before you lay down. At some point you’re going to be hungry, future you will be thankful for that easy one-handed food item. 
• Try staggering eating times with your spouse in the beginning phases. While one person eats, the other is helping with the baby. 
• Remember, it’s okay to seek support and prioritize your own needs during this demanding time.

Accept Help 

This tip was particularly difficult for me as an independent first-born daughter who was far from grandparents. But if there was one thing I wish I had been better at, was this. My own mental health would have been so much better if I had simply asked and accepted help when offered. 

• Your loved ones are eager to support you during this time, so don’t hesitate to accept their assistance. 
• There are numerous ways people can lend a hand without physically entering your home. Consider sharing a list of tasks they can help with, such as grocery shopping, walking the dog, or dropping off meals.
• Embrace the support offered by friends and family. 
• Chances are, if someone offers to bring food or watch your baby so you can rest, they understand the challenges you’re facing. 
• Remember, you don’t have to do it all alone. You’re already a superhero for bringing a new life into the world.

Have a Visitor Policy

•  Establishing a visitor policy for your newborn is helpful during this time when everyone is eager to meet the baby. 
• It’s essential to have open and honest discussions about who can enter your home and under what conditions with your partner. Perhaps your policy is that there is no policy. All are welcome. That’s totally fine, but others may want to limit the number of interactions and who can come over initially. 
• Knowing what you want ahead of time can help safeguard the health and well-being of both your newborn and your household. 

If you are more curious about this, we have a whole article dedicated on how to say no to visitors after birth.

Trust your Instinct

• As a new parent, it’s natural to doubt your abilities, but rest assured, you are more than qualified for this role. 
• Don’t be afraid to say “No.”
• Trust your intuition; if something doesn’t feel right, it likely isn’t. Your gut instinct is a powerful tool in navigating parenthood.
• Amidst the flood of advice you’ll receive as a new parent, it’s important to discern what is truly valuable. Some guidance will be invaluable, particularly from trusted sources like your pediatrician, offering lifesaving tips and reassurance. However, not all advice is created equal; some may be outdated or simply irrelevant. 
• Take the time to listen, evaluate, and make informed decisions that align with your instincts and values. Trust in your ability to discern what is truly beneficial for your little one.

Final Thoughts

As you navigate the journey of the fourth trimester, remember to be kind to yourself as you adjust to the demands of your new role. Trust your instincts, seek support when needed, and take time to nurture yourself and your relationships. With patience, love, and resilience, you will find your way through the challenges and joys of this exhausting phase. As you embark on this adventure, know that you are doing an incredible job, and your efforts are shaping a bright future for your child.